Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I Knit Through It All

That's my Mom, Jeanne. Since last July it's been one thing after another for her. She's had 4 knee replacements. How does that happen? She said the first 2 must have been factory rejects. So, in July she had the 3rd one done and then the other knee gave out in September. As if that wasn't enough Thanksgiving Day her appendix burst. Twelve days later she had a heart attack. Now we are all in the process of learning about dialysis. That's the next hurdle.

Why bring this up? A lot of my knitting since that July has taken place in emergency rooms, hospital rooms, critical and intensive care units, rehab facilities, waiting rooms, therapy rooms, Mom's house when I hang out with her and so on and so forth. If you see any projects on Ravelry under Phyll (that's my Ravelry ID) a lot of them are hospital projects.

I knit through it all. I knit with desperation at times. I knit in the dark and I knit with tears. I couldn't control what was happening to my Mom. I couldn't take her pain away, make it all better for her and get her back home. I couldn't do much of anything except be an advocate for her, keep her company and try to smile through it all. And knit.

And knit I did. Controlling the yarn, the needles, the project...those loops made one after another...thousands upon thousands of loops was all about control for me. It kept me sane. It gave me something to do during the hours and days of this whole nightmare. I'd show my Mom what I was knitting, the nurses and doctors, anyone and everyone would ask me about my knitting. All of those Cindy Lu Who stockings were knit in some health care place.

I just hauled it everywhere. If I didn't believe in the therapeutic benefits of knitting before this I surely do now!

I learned a lot too. In spite of the dismal news coverage day after day I have found an incredible amount of kindness in this world of ours. I've learned it's the little things that matter, like salt on mashed potatoes or coffee, or just a smile. I've learned that I have an incredible Mother who has a deep strength and although she may not feel it at this moment I see it in her. I've learned there are so many people out there with similar circumstances and that has given me hope. I've learned that I have a really wonderful family. Distance, kids, life, work can get in the way of learning how wonderful family is. I've also learned that sometimes it's okay to cry and laugh at the same time...at some very odd things let me tell you! We won't go there.

So, I'll keep knitting. I miss my Mom a lot. She's with my brother Steve and his family right now. I'll see her soon. If I don't post a blog for awhile you'll know why. I was going to put up a bunch of hospital projects but decided to just leave this with my Mom's picture. If you read this please keep her in your thoughts.

I love you Mom.

Must knit now,